That is the question right now. I've been with neal and have known his group of friends for almost 6 years now and they never struck me as the marrying type.

Now, ever since johann got engaged, it seemed as though they suddenly matured. Yesterday, I was talking to them and they seemed bent on being the first to follow johann. Of course we can't compete with that because we already agreed that we'd have the wedding two years from now.

Tin's excited for us too. Johann suddenly gave me and neal a wrapped present yesterday and inside it was a portfolio and a copy of the latest Metro Weddings. My first ever wedding magazine. I can't wait till saturday when we first try to get involved and get shocked by all the prices O_O hehe.

People have been helpful to us in our search for the engagement ring. I wish we can find a good and honest jeweller. I'm excited but not hurrying. Neal's still a bit worried that i can't hide all the wedding stuff from my folks. Ah well they have to know sooner or later.

It's a good thing neal's parents are happy and excited about our wedding.

Neal's mom even told him she'd give him money because the eldest should have a grand wedding. She has one condition though -- he has to marry me.

Isn't that sweet?

Stag Parties

Brides-to-be have worries over the infamous bachelor ritual called stag parties.

This is where your trust on the husband-to-be is put to the ultimate test.

If you look at it from their point of view, the husband-to-be has not said "i do" yet and this is his last chance to do something before he gets tied down.

I think if he does do something during the stag party, not even the chains of marriage will stop him from doing it again and guys who get drunk enough to do anything stupid during those parties or give in to peer pressure should not get married. Maturity and fidelity are traits a guy should have before he even decides to get married, they are not magically "learned" during church ceremonies.

Guys also have to understand that when they say they will "just look and not touch" the strippers, they are also sending a message to their wives-to-be that they are not sexy enough or beautiful enough to satisfy him. More often than not, women have insecurities because they think their husbands-to-be need to see something beautiful, something they can never have before settling down with what they can have without paying for it.

I'm not saying that all brides-to-be are completely innocent at bridal showers. Both parties have to know their limits. Your partner should NOT have to ask you, or threaten you or cajole you on how to act. That would just put a strain on your relationship when it should be getting stronger.

Talk to each other. Know what your partner wants and for goodness sake, keep your friends' and relatives' opinions out of the dicussion. If you're old enough and mature enough to decide to get married, everything else should be easy including having a stag/bridal party or what should be contained in the party.

Don't give each other a my-friends-will-be-organizing-it-i-dont-have-a-say crap. If you tell them you don't want strippers but they still hire one, don't attend. If they lie, you can always walk out whenever you want. Nobody will sue you and it might be better than not getting married at all.

If all else fails, BRIBE his/her friends. Not your partner.

You should know what kind of friends your partner has by now. Are they the type to throw wild parties or do they have meaningful conversations while getting drunk?

For example, my friend is getting married next month and since her husband-to-be is the first in the group, they were all excited about his stag party. Since she knew they were hard core gamers, she bribed them with the new Eberron book and a chance to go gaming all night as a substitute for the stag party.

For adventurous people, ask their friends to go mountain climbing. Anyone who can convince a stripper to perform on top of a mountain probably deserves an award. Or tell them you'll hold a major beach party at Boracay where they will get to meet more babes compared to one stripper.

Hope that helps. ^_^

I want to see neal's side on this issue.

don't know what to do

A few more things to consider.

Since the wedding is soooo far away, the only things neal and i are partially concerned with is the engagement ring and the budget.

we need to know what our budget should be which is why we are going to the perfect beginnings fair this saturday.

the wedding sparkles taught us that a good photo coverage and avp coverage is 100k and an engagement ring with a .25 carat diamond can reach 46k!

Here we were thinking a great wedding can be pulled off with 200k.

My sister gave me the following rules.
1. she's the maid of honor or she'll kill me
2. her dress needs to show cleavage (thats all i can tell from the way she described her dress)
3. definitely sto domingo church (ill post pics when i can)

things we are sure of:

1. we love green and we want it as a theme color, mint green to be precise.
2. honeymoon at kota kinabalu -- nature tripping, climb mt kota kinabalu and rest at the beach (heaven!)
3. discovery weekend (probably a year before the wedding so sept 2006)
4. definitely choose churches and a place for the wedding reception before any supplier

tin did mention using percentages instead of actual amounts for the budget.
they did theirs : 40 % reception, 30-40% clothes, 5% invitations, 5% flowers and hair and make up.

this weekend bridal thing is the last im visiting till september. i promise myself that and i'll probably have to stop thinking about it because obsessive tendencies are catching on and it's way too early.

after this week i'm gonna concentrate on my new job, masteral classes and neil gaiman in july!

then tin's wedding will come and i'll probably be back here.

perfect beginnings

tin sent me a link o this site : Perfect Beginnings II.

It's a wedding expo happening next weekend, june 11-12, in Megamall. I was worried that neal wouldn't want to go yet because it'll be too soon for us but Tin told me that he was already asking johann tips and referrals when they were having their last DnD game.

So as usual, without thinking, I registered us as a couple and placed the wedding date at Sept 10, 2007. I want that date but neal wants a date where the numbers add up to 5 or 8. Don't know why. Though he did agree on the month.

He agreed to go so I'm pretty excited. I love fairs and expos because arf usually takes me and dawn and they're always fun. neal's worried that my mom might find out and freak out. Well, the freaking out part is a definite possibility though they usually freak out with every new thing I decide to do and I don't plan on letting them know just yet.

I have a feeling we will love it. We'll also get a chance to see how much we really need so we can start saving up for it. That's the only good thing I see in early preparation and long engagements, you usually get what you want for the wedding and the honeymoon.

Other events at W@W site:

Wedding Sparkles - june 4-5, greenhills, wedding jewelries
Taste of Manila - june 17-19, megamall, food caterers
Power Weddings - june 24-26, rockwell, another wedding expo which has string minstrels and other string ensembles.
Moments of Dreams - july 2-3, roxas blvd, kind of far and even i will not go that far for something happening 2 years from now.
Wedding Expo Philippines - sept 3-4, bonifacio tent

I've also joined the weddings at work mailing list. tin was right, most of the couples are going to be married 2007 or 2006 anyway so we aren't too early. The moderator warned me that I could get a lot of mail. This morning I got around 5 so I told myself the moderator was exaggerating about the 20-30 emails per day. It's not 3:oo pm and the moderator was correct. Within the hour, I've received 20 emails and they're still coming. It's a good thing I used my gmail account for this.

I did however notice Orchidarium as a very popular reception area. After a few internet searches which yielded this page, I think it's worth a visit even if its only as a side trip when we go to Manila. I'd love to see that python.

holding hands

Some people base their relationships on a kiss.
I know if I'm going to fall for someone when i hold hands with them.
I first held hands with a boy who I really liked when I was in high school. Though that was the only thing we did, holding hands with him even after I thought I was over him, pulled me back to believing i still had those old feelings.
Unbelievably though, I was more affected by a time I held hands with a boy I didn't even like at the time. It was at the end of my first year in college and though I don't remember the details anymore. I know it was our first conversation though we were blockmates. I stood up to leave and he gave me a high five and he grabbed my hand. For half a minute we held hands and pretended we didn't know we were holding hands until someone noticed. Then the moment was gone and I spent two years clinging to that moment. Sometimes it got close but we never could hold it again.

I should have known this 5 years ago, or maybe I did instinctively.

Neal doesn't believe it but I know exactly when I started to fall in love with him.
Waya had planned to hold a birthday party with a Prom theme. I was planning to go with someone else but he succesfully asked his crush to go and since we were just friends I agreed he should go with her instead of me.
I don't know why I still wanted a date.
The last time I had a date, I threw my date out.
At the spur of the moment I asked neal to be my date at the Prom. He said yes and contrary to what he believes I did not like him then. He wrote sappy love songs and two of my friends were his crushes. Both points against him big time. I thought I was safe. I didn't want another crush since I was in the "I just want him to be my friend not my crush" mode.
The evening started out ok. He was nice, I got dressed up, we got separated and I didn't feel anything in the way of jealousy or loneliness. I think i wanted to be alone but not by myself when I approached him again during the party.
When we were on our way to the park to be alone, he held my hand.
Then I felt it.
Something different from all the other times I held hands.
I couldn't point it out. I was still giddy, my heart was beating fast but it felt
right.
There was just something more.
True to my nature I just followed my instinct.
I fell in love.